How to Recover from Making Bad Decisions

Last week, we looked at the merits of genuinely asking for advice.  As Proverbs 11:14 stated, "In the multitude of counselors there is safety."  Most have discovered the wisdom of listening to wise counsel, seeking Godly advice, at least most of the time.  What about those times you should have listened, but you didn't?  Now, you are living with the consequences of making and now living with a bad decision.  How do you recover from that?

First of all, let me start by saying everybody at one time or another makes bad decisions.  The post today is not intended to show you how to never make another wrong or bad decision.  That is impossible.  Hopefully, between last week and this week, you will learn how to minimize the amount of bad decisions by seeking the advice of others.  Just remember this; no one will ever get to the point of never making another wrong decision.

Let's first define what we mean by bad decisions.  I'm calling a bad decision as one in which you override your senses and choose an option that you know you should not.  Your senses say NO, because your internal guide or umpire, that some call conscience, is telling you and advising you, not to do it, or your senses are saying NO, because it wants to override the advice or counsel others are giving you.  We should also clarify that sometimes the consequences after making a decision don't always turn out the way we planned.  Sometimes the outcome is unpredictable and unexpected.  Please understand that does not necessarily mean that we had made a bad decision.  Decisions, whether right or wrong, don't have predetermined outcomes.

Any decision carries consequences.  When a person ignores the internal or external warnings and make bad decisions, there will be consequences.  For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, as Newton's Law of Motion stated.  You make a bad decision (action), there will be results and consequences (reaction).  Here are some of the consequences that you may experience or have experienced when you've made bad decisions.

1. Your integrity is compromised.
2. You end up not getting what you actually wanted. 
3. You hurt the ones you love, both family and friends.  Too often it is the ones you love the most that you hurt the most.  Bad decisions can severely damage or even destroy relationships.
4. The emotions go haywire.  You may feel anxiety, stress, depression, apathy and guilt.
5. Physical symptoms may occur like headaches, stomach aches, indigestion, increase in blood pressure and sleeplessness.
6. It can cause you to lose your job.
7. It may cause you to turn to drugs, alcohol or even over or under indulgence with food.
8. It can cause financial ruin. 
9. It wastes precious periods of time, and if left unchecked, can lead to a wasted life.
10. It can even lead to death.

In doing research for today's blog, I came across a website that allows people to tell their stories of what happens when bad decisions are made.  These are actual posts from people who visit this particular site.  Here are two that I read.  I must warn you.  They are extremely depressing.

"At 33, I have nothing.  No house, no girl, no job, no life, no motivation.  I used to be pretty cool and popular, now just a loser.  Pretty much failed at everything I've ever set out to do.  Getting too old to follow my dreams I had as a youth.  Wish me luck, cause I'm done.  Thanks for listening."  My heart broke, as I read this person's words.  I hope he found help, healing, hope and forgiveness.

Here is another one.

"I've made a lot of wrong decisions in my life and no real way of fixing any of them now.  Too late.  I spend time looking, wishing I had a good life.  Like how did they get so lucky.  No job, no money, no love and no real home."

These are so sad, aren't they?  We may not have reached the depths of despair that these 2 people did, but you know you have experienced some of those consequences in the list above.  Yet, we continue to make bad decisions.  Is there no way to prevent them?  Is there no hope?  Is there no answer?

I'm here to say, I believe there is hope.  We are never going to stop occasionally make a bad decision, but here a few simple steps that I hope you find will help you recover when you've made a decision you know was wrong.

1. Acknowledge it.  Admit it.  Face yourself.  You blew it, and you know it.  Ask for forgiveness from God.  If you are too proud to turn to God when you make a mistake, you are making the greatest mistake of all.  Ask for forgiveness from those you may have hurt.  Forgive yourself.   
2. Pick yourself back up and keep moving forward.  Don't stop.  Proverbs 24:16 says, "The godly may trip seven times, and rises again..."  I heard once that a person who wins at life is someone who gets up one more time than they fall down.  You've blown it.  Now get back up, brush yourself off and keep going.
3. Try to be more proactive.  Avoid the pitfalls and situations that you know have led to bad decisions in the past.  Listen to the advice of people you know and trust.  Ask God for wisdom and guidance.

Proverbs 12:15, "The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but he who heeds counsel is wise."

James 1:5, "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him."

I have made some profoundly bad decisions at different times in my life.  I think I experienced 9 out of 10 of those consequences I described above at one time many years ago.  Yet, here I am today, saying that recovery from a bad decision is possible.  How do I know?  It worked for me.  I found forgiveness, I picked myself in spite of some pretty incredible odds and kept moving forward with life and I now try and avoid those things that I know have led to bad decisions in the past.  It has worked for me.  I know it can work for you.