Summer Break

Writing this blog over the last 20 weeks has truly been restorative therapy for me.  I've discovered things about myself that I thought had either been lost long ago, or that had never been truly a part of who I am now.  I hope that many of you have been encouraged and helped as you have chosen to join me on this spiritual journey.  Some have been with me from week one.  Others have joined along the way.  The readership of the blog has increased each week.  Thank you for reading, and telling others about it.

With summer being now upon us, I've decided to take a short summer recess from posting weekly blogs.  Don't worry!   I'm not quitting.  I will be back.  I just can't say whether it will be in a few weeks or several weeks.  I've discovered that I love to express myself by writing, so I'm not going to give that up anytime soon.  I would like to spend the next several weeks, retooling.  When I return, I will either pick up Business Ethics in the Book of Proverbs where I left off, or I may spin off and write more about Living Ethically in Today's World.  I still have about 14 to 16 topics from Proverbs that I would like to cover, but in light of what is happening culturally in our world today, I may choose the new topic.  The premise of that topic would be to address the challenges of ethical living in the 21st century.   So, when I return, I may end up addressing both topics.  Stay tuned!

As I wrap up what I'm calling Part I, I went back and re-read that first blog posted on 1/1/12.  In that blog, I defined what my goals were in writing.  They were: 

1. To introduce the reader to the richness of the Book of Proverbs and its teachings on Ethical Principles.
2. To discover principles together that will help us navigate the daily challenges we all face in our culture.
3. To encourage everyone that even though you may have failed many times to live ethically, whether personally, professionally or both, that you will discover that the Author of the Book used in this blog is someone who offers everyone a “second chance.”

As I look back at those goals, I think I have accomplished them, especially the first two.  I have had several tell me how I've helped make the Book of Proverbs current and fresh again by pointing out its timeless principles.  I've heard from others who've said that particular posts have helped them through some of their own challenges to live ethically.  Even though, I haven't personally heard from anyone how the third point had impacted them personally, I can say from my own experience that it has impacted me.  I'm so grateful that God is giving me this platform to tell others about Him and His Word; that He is the God of Second Chances; that He is a loving and forgiving God; and that He is still One who chooses to use imperfect humans like us to serve Him.

In closing, I would encourage each of you to take time to read a chapter in the Book of Proverbs daily or even weekly.  I would also encourage those who joined our journey along the way and have not read all of the blog posts to visit the archive section on the right side of the blog page.  There, you will find the posted blogs for the past 19 weeks.  I would also ask those who regularly read this blog to consider signing up, so you can start receiving these posts in your email.  This way, you are sure not to miss them when I start back up.  Signing up is simple and secure.  You will not be bombarded with ads or spam, and if you don't like it, you can unsubscribe at any time.  Just put in your email address in the space provided on the blog, hit the submit button, and you will then receive an email confirmation from Google that has a link in the body of the email that you will need to reply to, by simply clicking on the link.  If you do not take this last step, which is clicking on the confirmation link, you will not receive the posts via email.  Please be sure to complete this last step.  This will ensure that you are giving your permission to Google to send you this blog.

Have a great summer everyone.  Please feel free to stay in touch via email, by commenting on today's or past blogs, or by liking and posting on my business ethics page on Facebook.  I would love to hear from you.

May we always strive to lead ethical lives at home, at work and within our own consciousnesses. 

Until next time,
Tony Carroll

Are Personal Ethics Relative?

Since I started this blog on Business Ethics and the Book of Proverbs, I have always sought to point to the source for ethical principles.  I believe that source is the Bible.  Yet some may say, the Bible is just a book written by men, a collection of fairytales and fables, historically inaccurate and full of lies and half-truths.  If that is indeed the case, then stop reading this blog now.  If there is not a trustworthy, reliable source for ethical truths, then I apologize for wasting your time over the last 18 weeks.  In other words, if there is no Absolute Truth, then who am I to offer anything regarding our responsibility to live more ethical lives?  I would be a sham and a charlatan, a snake-oil salesman in the 21st century.

But, if there is Absolute Truth, then the principles of conduct and ethics have a solid foundation making them relevant for any society, not just a Christian society.  Do you believe in Absolute Truth?

Karl Marx, the father of communism, believed that each society should create its own system of ethics based on its economic status and history, and then the current system of ethics (based on Absolute Truth) would soon give way to a new one where all morals and ethics are relative.
 
Humanist John Dewey, co-author and signer of the Humanist Manifesto I in 1933 declared, "There is no God and there is no soul. Hence, there are no needs for the props of traditional religion. With dogma and creed excluded, then immutable truth is also dead and buried. There is no room for fixed, natural law or moral absolutes." Humanists believe one should do, as one feels is right.  Everything, every moral, every law, every standard is relative in the humanist's world view.  Yet a society with a code of ethics based on no moral absolutes would be a society ruled by anarchy.

Almost 2,000 years ago, Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth and the life; no one comes to the Father except through me." (John 14:6)  Jesus established Himself and His teachings, the Bible itself, as Absolute Truth.

So there you have it, Marx, Dewey and Jesus.  Two said truth is relative to your circumstances.  One said He was and is the truth.    Who would you rather believe?  A relativist maintains that everyone should be able to believe and do whatever he wants. Of course, this view is emotionally satisfying, until that person comes home to find his house has been robbed, or someone seeks to hurt him, or someone cuts in front of him in line. No relativist will come home to find his house robbed and say, "Oh, how wonderful that the burglar was able to fulfill his view of reality by robbing my house. Who am I to impose my view of right and wrong on this wonderful burglar?" Quite the contrary, the relativist will feel violated just like anyone else.

The very document upon which this country was founded establishes the reality of Absolute Truth.  "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness,"  Declaration of Independence, July 4th, 1776.

I conclude that the answer to the question in the title of today's blog is "no", personal ethics are not relative, but are founded upon Absolute Truth.  With that being said, I would like to share a concise description of an Ethical person from two verses in Proverbs.

Proverbs 19:22-23, "What is desired in a man is kindness, and a poor man is better than a liar.  The fear of the Lord leads to life, and he who has it will abide in satisfaction.  He will not be visited with evil."

1. An ethical person is described as being kind.  He strives to live by the Golden Rule, "whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them," (Matthew 7:12).  Said another way, it simply states that we are to treat other people as we would wish to be treated ourselves.  The golden rule is the ethic of reciprocity.  Twenty one world religions have some version of the golden rule in their teachings.  Being kind to others is based on Absolute Truth and describes the ethical person.
2. An ethical person is known by their honesty.  It is better to be honest and poor, than be rich and a liar.  Your personal integrity is not to be taken for granted.  Honesty builds trust. 
3. An ethical person recognizes Absolute Truth and has a respect for its Author.  "Fear" in a Biblical sense means reverential respect.  Regardless of your spiritual preferences or inclinations, living ethically shows your regard for Absolute Truth and respect for its Author.  Said another way, morality is present in humanity.  There is a sense of right and wrong in the heart of every person.  Those who go deeper and profess faith in God are able to develop an even more personal relationship with Him.
4. An ethical person is described as someone who is satisfied.  There is a contentment and security that governs the life of person that lives honorably.  Contentment is elusive to the person who has not truly recognized his responsibility to fill the spiritual vacuum in their life and insist on living their lives without personal faith in God.

A personal code of ethics is based on Absolute Truth.  When your personal ethics have a foundation, then your life will manifest kindness, honesty, reverence and contentment.  What are you basing your own personal ethics on?  What are they founded upon? 

The Ethics of Listening

I have conducted a number of Sales and Customer Service training classes over the years.  I always spend one or more sessions on the topic "The Art of Listening."  I feel strongly about the importance of listening, if one is to excel in sales and customer service, it is imperative that they learn how to listen.  People want to be heard.  They want to know they are being listened too.

Have you ever thought that listening is a matter of ethics?  Ethics is defined as "principles of conduct; a set of moral principles governing an individual or a group."  Having the appropriate conduct by actively listening makes it an ethical matter.

Let's consider these verses from Proverbs on the subject.

Proverbs 18:13, "He who answers a matter before he hears it, it is folly and shame to him."

Proverbs 18:2, "A fool has no delight in understanding, but in expressing his own heart."

How you ever been guilty of not hearing what the other person is saying, because you are too busy working on your answer.  When we do that, we are telling the other person, "what you are saying is not as important as what I have to say is."  Ouch!  That sounds pretty self-centered and arrogant, doesn't it?

Let's consider it first in the arena of public speaking.  I have done my share of public speaking, and have observed the listening behavior by people in the audience.  I've seen it range from some in the audience being absorbed, engrossed and engaged in what I was saying by actively listening to being, (to put it mildly), just plain rude by their demonstrative actions of not listening, whether talking while I'm speaking, checking their phone, playing with their hair, looking around or being so disinterested, they sleep.  Let me offer this disclaimer about sleeping while someone speaks.  Sometimes people sleep due to health, personal or family reasons or issues.  I'm not talking about that type of sleeper.  I'm talking about the one who you see scrunching down in their seat, crossing their arms, tilting their head and sleeping.  They deliberately fall to sleep.  Have you ever thought that people who deliberately do not listen to the person speaking as being a form of unethical behavior?

Since the majority of you probably have never spoken to a group publicly, what about one-on-one conversations, or with two or three, or around a conference table, or in a small room setting?  Isn't it the appropriate ethical thing for the person to listen to what you are saying?  Of course it is.

Let's reverse roles now.  When you sit in a group where someone is speaking, how ethically do you listen?  What about when your spouse, your children, your boss, a co-worker or a group of co-workers speak, do you really listen?

Gil Stern, a college professor, regularly gives this listening question on his exams with new students.  He describes a situation in which a speaker is talking about some controversial subject and how most of the class is listening attentively and a couple of audience members even change their position on the topic, due to the speech.  He also says that two members of the audience are so put off by the speech; they pass notes back and forth, the entire time of the speech.

He then ask the students, via multiple choice, which answer is correct when it comes to ethical listening. 

1. There are no ethical responsibilities of the listeners.
2. Only those who were persuaded to the speaker's side acted ethically.
3. The two students who passed notes back and forth acted unethically.
4. Since the two students who passed notes back and forth did not talk during the speech, they   were not engaged in unethical listening practices.

He said that usually about half of the class gets it wrong.  The correct answer he was looking for was number three, the choice that says the students engaged in note passing acted unethically. Ethical listening includes being courteous and attentive. You do not have to agree with what the speaker is saying, but you should not tune out. If you listen and follow the arguments, you may find that you change your position. You may also find that your original position becomes strengthened. In either event, a speaker has put time and effort into a speech and deserves to have the entire audience paying attention. (Yahoo Voices 6/11/07)

Now let's put that same scenario on a personal level in our normal daily conversation.  

1. To say there is no ethical responsibility, whether you listen or not, is wrong.   Look again at Proverbs 18:13. 
2. When you turn people off like turning off the radio, because you disagree with them, is also wrong.  Let them speak and be courteous by  listening.  You may still disagree with them, when they are finished, but while they are speaking, give them your attention.
3. To tune out the person speaking to you, so you can formulate an answer is also wrong.  Read Proverbs 18:2, again.

How can we become better listeners whether with an audience or with one person?

1. Be receptive by keeping an open mind.
2. Be non-judgmental because judgment will limit our listening.
3. Be observant. People “speak” in ways other than words. Body language and demeanor can be very revealing.
4. Search for meaning beyond words and ask ourselves the question “What is the speaker really saying?”
5. Have empathy and try to understand the background, the life conditions and possible motivation of the speaker.

In closing, I would like for us to consider another verse from Proverbs that really shows what can happen, when we fail to listen.  Have you ever been around someone in a group setting who start saying something, telling a story, etc., but they trail off and never finish what they were saying?  Why did they do that?  They could tell no one was listening.  Has that happened to you?  How did that make you feel?  Not practicing ethical listening, can have far reaching consequences.

Proverbs 18:19, "A brother offended is harder to win than a strong city, and contentions are like the bars of a castle."

Listening is a strategic part of communication.  Without it, we can offend and damage relationships. 

How do you Measure Success?

There is a ton of information on the World Wide Web on this topic.  If you do a Google search on this question, you will discover as I did, 33.5 million references to this subject.  That's a lot.  Just to see if most of these referenced our question, I started scrolling through the pages.  I stopped at page 50.  Guess what?  Google was still showing me links to websites, blogs, articles and lectures on this question even on page 50 of my search results.  I'm sure it would have kept going after 50, but I stopped there.
 
Why so much?  I think almost everyone wants to be a success in life.  We only have one shot at this life, and most want to leave their mark; their legacy that shows they were successful.

Since so many have already spoken and written on this topic, is there anything else that I can add, especially with regards to how this relates to our topic of Business Ethics?  I'm sure that I will not add anything that hasn't been said before, probably many times before, but I think it wouldn't hurt to look at it anew.  My hope is that in some small way, I can shine a little light by means of a thought, a word, a challenge like I'm sharing in the blog this week and as I have in previous weeks that will assist you as you navigate your journey in discovering how to be successful, not only in business but also in life.

Success, how do you measure it?  Do you look simply at those with money, and call them a success?  Is that what success means to you personally?
 
If your business and career efforts are providing you with monetary gain, but you don’t enjoy what you do, can this really be called success?  We all know people that have and make lots of money, but their lives are harried, stressed and frankly, pretty miserable.  Pursuit of the almighty dollar can split our families, destroy our health and even take our lives.

I think there is a much calmer, more contented, and surer way of measuring success.
 
Proverbs 16:8, "Better is a little with righteousness, than vast revenues without justice."

The verse shows us the first way we can measure success.  Money, whether it be a little, or even a lot, if it is gained honestly, ethically and with integrity is how you measure success.  I'm sure in the eyes of many; Bernie Madoff was successful, before his Ponzi scheme became public.  He was rolling in the money, but he had gotten it dishonestly.  Today, he is in jail.  His life is a failure.
I fear that in our culture today, fewer and fewer are seeing that living ethically responsible lives at home, at work and inwardly within our own consciences no longer factors into how we measure success, but according to Proverbs 16:8, it still does.  In doing research, I came across the "Top Ten Traits of Highly Successful People."  Do you know what was glaringly absent from that list?  You probably guessed it; it was doing business ethically.  At the end of the day, how we live and conduct ourselves is what matters.  Putting the verse in my words, to me it says, "It's better to be poor and ethical, than to be rich and dishonest."

Proverbs 16:16, "How much better to get wisdom than gold! And to get understanding is to be chosen rather than silver."

What is your main pursuit in life?  Is it to make money?  I think this verse shows us the 2nd way we can measure success.  It is saying that getting wisdom and understanding is "much better" than getting gold and silver.  Gaining wisdom is more valuable than riches.  Do you buy that?  This verse ties in with our previous verse.  How?  When your pursuit in life is wisdom and understanding, your life will be more content, even if you don't have a lot of material possessions, because of the wisdom and understanding gained, you will earn what you have ethically.  Your life will be more satisfied.  See how it fits together?
 
Where do we get this wisdom and understanding?  You can read great books, and study the ancient philosophers.  There is a wealth of knowledge to be gained from that, but you would still be ignoring the one Book that can give you that wisdom and understanding.  I'm referring to the Bible.  It is still the best source for wisdom and understanding.
 
I read recently that the American Bible Society contracted the Barna Research Group to conduct a survey to find out the "State of the Bible in 2012".  What they found was that still an overwhelming majority considers the Bible to be sacred literature, yet what the research discovered was that people just aren't reading it.  Fox News quotes Lamar Vest, President and CEO of ABS when asked about the results of the survey.  He said, "There are probably five Bibles on every shelf in American homes. Americans buy the Bibles, they debate the Bible, they love the Bible... they just don't read the Bible."  If we pursued wisdom and understanding as hard as we did money, that statement would not be true, but unfortunately, it is.  Those who claim to be Christian and those who don't are both equally guilty of not reading it, even though most Americans still revere it as God's Word.

Proverbs 16:19, "Better to be of a humble spirit with the lowly, than to divide the spoil with the proud."

This verse shows us the 3rd way we can measure success.  Humility is to be desired over pride.  Dividing the spoil speaks of gain gotten dishonestly or unethically.  Living a simple life with others of like mind will allow us to achieve far greater success than living a life that is caught up in the pursuit of gain in this dog-eat-dog world.  Capitalism is one of the things that has made this country great, but it can also be brutal and cut-throat.  It can suck the life out of those who are caught up in it, who have allowed the pursuit to become more important than living a life of integrity.

Did you notice the same key word in all 3 verses?  It was the word "better".  Success is measured by our integrity in how we make money, by what we desire more than making money, and by how we live our life in spite of the business philosophy of many in this dog-eat-dog world.

When we think about success, invariably we think of individuals; people that we think of as successful.  It's normal.  It's natural.  Who do you have on your list as examples of success?  Steve Jobs?  Michael Jordan?  Tom Hanks?  Mother Teresa?  In light of our verses today, I got to thinking about people who I consider to be successful, and my mind went to an uncle and aunt, my Dad's sister and her husband.  The last time I saw them was 3 years ago.  Even though it had been well over 20 years since I had seen them before that, they not only looked exactly as they did back then, but most importantly, and why I think of them as a success, they were still living their lives the way I've always known them; humble, godly and honest.  Today, they are in their mid-70's, maybe older.  Their Godly example that I saw 3 years ago is exactly how I remember them 20 years before that, and that is exactly how I saw them when they and their two boys would visit my Grandparents during my years growing up.  They lived in Michigan and would come for visits in Tennessee, practically every year.  What stood out to me from a small child to an adult pushing 60, has not changed, wavered or diminished.  That, in my opinion, is how you measure success. 

How to Handle Confrontations Ethically

The topic last week was about making the right associations.  We saw how if left unchecked, "bad company corrupts good ethics".  In describing what we should do when we are in a setting whether it is a conversation with a group in the office, with friends in a social setting, or even around relatives or neighbors, when you know it is time that you should excuse yourself, I said you should always avoid group confrontations.  This week, we want to dig deeper into this topic of confrontations, but this week, we are going to put the 'shoe on the other foot', so to speak, and explore how we should handle those times when "we" are confronted by others, publicly or privately.

The definition of confrontation is to come face-to-face with; stand in front of; an open conflict of opposing ideas.  It was derived from two Latin words, "com" which means together and "frons" which refers to the forehead, so in other words, when you hear that confrontations are best described as two people "butting heads", and that's a pretty accurate description.

Unfortunately in today's society where people have no "absolute truth" to guide them, no "moral compass" to direct them, some of the advice today on handling confrontations only leads to more confrontation.  You've heard some of these, I'm sure.

"I don't get mad; I get even."

"Your freedom ends, where my nose begins."

"Stand your ground."  (That's not really working out to well for Florida right now, is it?)

"The natural human instinct is to defend one's self."

"If all else fails, the nose is a good place to hit first which can temporarily blind them with tears."

Have you ever noticed what it does to you physically when you are confronted?  You start to shake; you lose control of your voice; it becomes quivery, and the words don't flow properly from your lips; your thoughts become disjointed.  What causes that?  These are signs of confrontation jitters.  Everyone experiences them to one degree or another. This is the 'flight or fight' syndrome kicking in and it pumps adrenaline throughout your body in readiness to fight or run.  It is your bodies' mechanism for getting prepared to do one or the other.

When you are in that state, for most people your maturity, common sense and restraint usually kick in, and you are determined not to allow someone to take the keys of your self-control, your emotions, your feelings.  You work hard not to get defensive and yell back at them.  You take deep breaths and tell yourself over and over that you are not going to let this person control me.  The angrier the other person gets, the more reserved and calm you become.  When the confronter realizes they cannot break you, or get under your skin, or achieve their desired reaction, they will usually give up.  You win.  You are the much stronger person because of how you did not react.

Why then, do you feel rotten on the inside, when you were able to manage a controlled reaction like that?  You lie awake at night, replaying the confrontation in your mind over and over.  You won, but you really feel like you lost.  You start thinking that the flight syndrome kicked in and was the reason you handled it the calm way that you did.  This can sometimes lead some to have the exact opposite reaction the next time it happens.  The 'fight' syndrome takes over, and you decide you are not going to take it anymore, and you "butt heads" with your adversary.  Most times it never results in physical blows, but it is a fight nevertheless.  You feel proud that you stood your ground.  You went toe-to-toe with them.  You feel you won the argument.  Guess what?  Most of the time your reaction after things simmer down will be the same as it would be if you had calmly, peacefully resolved it.  You will still think about it, for days or even years.  You replay it over and over in your mind.  The reality starts sinking in.  You didn't win.  You lost.  You lost a friend, a relationship, a job.

Without a solid foundation, a source of truth that gives you principles for handling these confrontations ethically, your reaction may be more like the latter than the former, or a combination of both.  Sometimes controlled; sometimes out of control.

 

Let's look briefly at some verses from Proverbs our source book for Business Ethics on how to handle confrontations ethically.

Proverbs 15:1, "A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."

Proverbs 16:32, "He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city."

Proverbs 17:14, "The beginning of strife is like releasing water; therefore stop contention before a quarrel starts."

Proverbs 20:3, "It is honorable for a man to stop striving, since any fool can start a quarrel."

First of all, when confronted, answer softly or gently.  I like how Jesus handled confrontations.  When the religious leaders asked him questions in an aggressive, confrontational manner, do you know how He answered them?  He didn't argue with them, or rebuke them.  He answered their questions with a question, in a patient, loving, calm manner.  When you answer calmly and gently, it diffuses anger.  Harsh words have the opposite effect

.

Secondly, when confronted, answer with total self-control.  Do not answer with anger.  Do not blow your top.  Do not lose your temper.  Nothing is gained with that type of reaction.  When you learn to control your anger in confrontations, Proverbs 16:32 says you are better than a warrior that can take a city.

Lastly, even though you are being verbally confronted, you can stop it, by "dropping the matter".  Stop it while the verbal assault is more like a trickling stream of water.  When you wait, or argue back, that trickle can become a raging river.  Stopping an argument, a confrontation, before it gains a foothold, is a mark of honor.  It is the mark of a person of integrity, a person who lives his life ethically.

Footnote:  I would like to thank everyone who reads this blog.  The audience continues to grow each week.  Every week there are more readers than the previous week.  It is reaching people not just locally, but also in other states and in other countries.  Beyond the friends and family living in other states who read it regularly, there are also people from Texas, South Dakota, Russia, Germany, France, Latvia, Tunisia and India who have discovered it.  My prayer is that it is helping people live more ethical lives.  I would invite you to leave comments, 'like it' on Facebook, sign up to receive it via email and/or repost it within your social media circles.  Leaving a brief comment, may help someone out there who is reading and has questions, but is reluctant to comment since right now, very few do.  Thanks for helping me spread the word.



How Associations can Affect our Ethics

I would like to start with a confession.  Today's topic is difficult.  I mean, really difficult.  Not that the others haven't been; it's just that today's challenge taken to the extreme by the actions we take, may cause more harm than any good that would come if we did nothing.
 
Have you ever been around a group of co-workers, neighbors, friends, family, or even on-line with Facebook friends who are in the midst of what you would consider an inappropriate conversation or Facebook posts?  How do you react to it?  In my opinion, an extreme reaction would be to abruptly turn and leave, or even worse, taking it on yourself to try and correct the entire group.  If you overreact either way, you are likely to be labeled "holier than thou", "goody two shoes" or worse.  Or, do you continue the associations and continue to do nothing, allowing your ethical standards to be compromised?  What should you do when faced with those situations that are offensive to you, or you deem to be inappropriate?

Let's start by looking at a verse from the New Testament book of I Corinthians.  It helps to lay the foundation for today's topic.  We want to first look at why we sometimes compromise our Ethical Standards.  Next, I want us to look at principles from the Book of Proverbs on how to develop the right associations with people to keep us from compromising our Ethics.  Lastly, I want to see how we can avoid the damage caused if we overreact.

I Corinthians 15:33, "Do not be misled:  bad company corrupts good character." (NIV, ©1984)

In other translations, the word "character" is changed to morals or manners, so the verse is saying that, "bad company corrupts good morals or bad company corrupts good manners."  To understand that morals, manners and character are referring to the same thing, we should look at the original word used when the text was first written in Greek.  The Greek word is "ethos".  For you that are regular readers of this blog, you probably already know the English translation of the Greek word ethos.  It is the word Ethics.  If we use the English equivalent of the original Greek word, the verse is saying that "bad company corrupts good ethics."  That helps answer our first point as to why we sometimes or maybe often compromise our Ethics.  It is caused by how we are influenced by the company we keep.

Let's now consider these verses on why and how we should develop the right associations from the Book of Proverbs.

Proverbs 12:26, "The righteous should choose his friends carefully, for the way of the wicked leads them astray."

Proverbs 13:20, "He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed."

Proverbs 20:19, "He who goes about as a talebearer reveals secrets:  therefore do not associate with one who flatters with his lips."

Proverbs 24:1-2, "Do not be envious of evil men, nor desire to be with them; for their heart devises violence, and their lips talk of troublemaking."

The first way to go about developing the right associations is to "choose your friends carefully."  We've already seen what happens when we choose the wrong associations; it will ultimately deteriorate your ethical principles.  Who are your friends, your business associates, and the people you hang around with?  Make sure you choose your associations carefully.

A good group to choose your associations from is people who are characterized as "wise men".  Hang around with people who are smarter, of sounder moral character and those who are wiser, and guess what?   It will start rubbing off on you.  Hanging with people of wisdom will expand you intellectually, challenge you to be better morally and will help you grow not just in knowledge, but in wisdom also.

The next verse in our texts from Proverbs tells us how to spot the kind of person we should not have a deep association with.  Watch out for people who always want to flatter you.  People like this usually talk too much.  They get so preoccupied praising you and others that they can easily start revealing confidential things that you or others have shared with them.
 
Notice the last group to avoid; those classified as evil men.  Isn't it ironic that we too often are envious of those who are evil or wicked?  Watch out for their scheming, troublemaking ways.  Bad company will corrupt good ethics.

Finally, when we recognize the bad company, those that will corrupt us, lead us astray, and ultimately could destroy us, how do we react to their conversations, avoid their associations, unfriend them on Facebook and yet still maintain a working, friend, or family relationship with them without offending them?

1. Avoid Group Confrontations - If you walk up on, or are involved with a discussion in a group setting that you find inappropriate, that is not the time to take a stand and abruptly walkaway or say something.  You will lose in that situation.  What would be gained?  Absolutely nothing.  If you do, try having a follow up conversation at a later time when you've offended people in a setting like this; you will discover how damaging your response was. The best approach is to sit politely and find an opportunity when you can to quietly excuse yourself.
2. Make the Right Connections - As the verse says, choose your friends carefully. 
3. Have a Private Conversation - If you reach a point when you feel you must say something to someone you know is causing you to compromise your ethics, speak with them privately about it.  Don't judge them for their behavior.  Remember it may be wrong only in your eyes.  Be cordial and compassionate when you speak.  When said appropriately, you should still be able to be friends, and you will oftentimes be respected even more for clearly defining your convictions.

Was I able to convey why this topic was so difficult for me?  As clearly as bad company corrupts good ethics, choosing to "straighten out people" who behave inappropriately causes damage too.  Sometimes that kind of damage is irrevocable.

Depression in the Workplace

I'm not a psychologist or psychotherapist.  I don't claim to be one.  I'm just a guy seeking to gain a rational perspective on business ethics using the Book of Proverbs as my guide.  As the title of today's blog indicates, I am going to take a closer look at depression and how it relates to and can sometimes conflict with sound moral principles or ethical behaviors not only at work, but in our homes with the people we love and even our personal lives.

Consider some of these statistics on Depression gleaned from the National Institutes of Health, the Depression Statistics website, the Uplift Program website and the Psychology Today website.

• Approximately 22% of the U.S. population suffers from some form of depression at any given time.  Of that number 26% are female, and 12 % are male.  The reason some think that the number for men is lower is because of their tendency to try and hide it more.  Almost every person will experience depression at some point in their lives.
• Depression unresolved/untreated can lead to major depressive disorders, also known as clinical depression.  This type of depression now affects 10% of the U.S. population.  Major or clinical depression is a disorder, not a disease. That means that - as understood at present - it has symptoms of disrupted functionality, rather than physical signs, like a rash or a bruise. Major depression is diagnosed when someone has at least five symptoms of depression lasting at least two weeks. These symptoms include:

1. Changes to one’s emotions, including pervasive sadness and generally depressed mood
2. Changes to one’s view of the future, including pessimism and hopelessness
3. Changes to one’s normal habits, including loss of appetite and insomnia, as well as withdrawal from normal activities and/or a loss of pleasure in them
4. Changes to one’s self-image, including feelings of helplessness, guilt, worthlessness, and/or self-hatred
5. Feeling fatigued or like one has no energy
6. Possible increases in sensitivity including agitation, irritability, and restlessness
7. Changes to one’s mental state, including mental confusion, sluggishness, and difficulty making decisions
8. Thoughts of suicide and/or suicide attempts

• Clinical depression has become one of America's most costly illnesses. Left untreated, depression is as costly as heart disease or AIDS to the US economy, costing over $51 billion in absenteeism from work and lost productivity and $26 billion in direct treatment costs. Depression tends to affect people in their prime working years and may last a lifetime if untreated.
• Depression will be the second largest killer of Americans after heart disease by 2020, while studies now show depression is a contributory factor to fatal coronary disease already.
• 80% of people who see the Doctor are depressed.  Studies are increasingly linking more illnesses to depression, including: osteoporosis, diabetes, heart disease, some forms of cancer, eye disease and back pain.

I will stop here with the numbers, but they should be alarming to anyone.  If anyone reading this can identify with many of the symptoms of major depression outlined above, please seek professional help, now.

How does all this relate to business ethics?

Look again at the point about depression's cost to businesses for absenteeism and lost productivity.  Lost productivity accounts for most of that amount, and refers not just to absenteeism, but something called presenteeism.  This is a term for people with depression that show up for work but are not functioning anywhere close to full capacity.  They fail to return phone calls, they produce poor-quality work, they miss deadlines, they are not following up with customers, they are paralyzed with indecision, they start coming in late and/or leaving early, they begin having difficulty getting along with co-workers and are withdrawing from the social environment at work.

Please refer back to the blog on "The Ethics of Work" if you still can't see the connection between the effects of depression on ethical principles.   When you start functioning like the patterns described above, if left unchecked and unresolved, you may also start making very compromising and destructive choices in your relationship with your spouse, your children, and your co-workers.  Left unresolved, you may start abusing drugs, alcohol, sex or gambling.  Depression unresolved will eventually lead you on a downward spiral that will destroy your integrity and character, which in turn will cause even more depression.  It's a vicious cycle.

Consider these verses from Proverbs.

Proverbs 12:25, "Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, but a good word makes it glad."

Proverbs 15:13, "A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance, but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken."

Proverbs 17:22, "A merry heart does good, like medicine, but a broken spirit dries the bones."

Notice the depression symptoms outlined in these verses:

•  Anxiety
•  Sorrow
•  Brokenness

Do you see the downward progression?  It starts with anxiety.  We can become anxious and have anxiety over so many things.  We worry about job security, finances, retirement.  You name it; most of us will figure out a way to worry about it.  We have anxiety over relationships, our children, our in-laws, our neighbors, our boss, our employees, and even our relationship with God.  That anxiety will cause depression.

Next is sorrow, or sorrow of the heart, which is a by-product or attribute that comes with depression.  Depressed people are usually very sad.  They may cry a lot.  They have no joy.  When depression leads to sorrow, self-abuse will follow.  You can abuse not only alcohol and prescription or illegal drugs, but also food can become an addition.  Sex can become an addition through illicit hetero or homosexual affairs or even pornography.  None of these things will ever really help a sorrowful heart.  They usually lead to the last word these verses use to describe depression, which is brokenness.

Brokenness, or broken spirit, follows sorrow.  This level of depression is when depression has entered the danger zone.  At this stage, when you feel totally defeated, lost, worthless, destroyed, don't wait another moment, get help.

Do you see yourself at one of these stages, right now?  If you do, I wish I could tell you there was an instantaneous cure, a magical pill, but there isn't one.  What, you say?  Can't God give that instantaneous cure?  He can, and I personally believe that He wants too for anyone going through depression.  The problem is not with God, but with the level of our own depression, receptiveness, understanding or even faith.  It would be disingenuous of me to close by telling you just to Trust God, or just believe, and it will all be okay.  Charlatans that propagate that can easily make depressed people even more depressed.

My hope for anyone who may be at one of these stages of depression is that you will find a path, a roadmap, a plan that can lead you to brighter, healthier and happier days.  I believe this can help, but it may take time, so hang in there.

Proverbs 16:20, "He who heeds the word wisely will find good, and whoever trusts in the Lord, happy is he."

1. Cultivate good healthy relationships with spouses, co-workers or solid social networks.  Find associations at work that will give "a good word", stimulating, encouraging and uplifting conversations that make the heart glad.  See Prov. 12:25 above.
2. With the help of a physician, therapist, support group or religious counselor, find out what is causing your depression and deal with the sources of anxiety that caused it.  
3. Cultivate a proper balance of diet and exercise.  Nothing clears cluttered minds like a little exercise and a good nutritional diet.
4. Develop spiritual beliefs that include prayer, meditation, and fellowship with likeminded people who also have a strong belief in the value of serving their fellow man.  Our last verse says that "whoever trusts in the Lord, happy is he."   This will give your life purpose.  Purpose will give you greater joy, and that new found joy will result in a merry heart that "does good, like a medicine."

Philanthropy

For some, this week's topic may seem a little off the regular theme of Business Ethics, but I think when you look at it closely, you will discover that it has everything to do with both business and personal ethics.  In fact, it epitomizes what ethics is really all about.  I'm talking about philanthropy.  Etymologically, the word is derived from two Greek words, phileo and anthropos.  Phileo is one of three Greek words for love.  It speaks of the kind of love expressed between people, hence brotherly love.  The other Greek word in philanthropy is anthropos, which means human, so together philanthropy means "the love we have toward our fellow man."  Webster's Dictionary defines it as "goodwill shown to fellow members of the human race".
  
Philanthropy was originally described by the Greek culture as the essential nature and purpose of humans, its culture and civilization.  Later, when Rome conquered the world, the Latin word used by the Romans was humanitas, that we translate into humanity.  In modern times, philanthropy is most often associated today with foundations whose purposes are to promote private initiatives for the public good.  Rarely, outside of the context of its modern usage associated with foundations, trusts and grant-making organizations associated with names like the Rockefellers, Bill & Gloria Gates, Warren Buffet, etc. do you see the word philanthropy used.  Today, the words charity and benevolence are used instead.   Charity is defined as "benevolent goodwill toward or love of humanity; a generosity and helpfulness especially toward the needy or suffering."  Sounds like the definition of philanthropy, doesn't it?  Technically, whether you use the word philanthropy, charity or benevolence, they mean the same thing, "the love we have and express toward our fellow man."

What does this have to do with Business Ethics?  Ethics is defined as "the principles of conduct or a set of moral principles governing an individual or group."  You see, philanthropy/charity, should be part of the set of our moral principles too.

Let's consider some verses from Proverbs.

Proverbs 11:24-26, "There is one who scatters, yet increases more; and there is one who withholds more than is right, but it leads to poverty.  The generous soul will be made rich, and he who waters will also be watered himself."

Proverbs 14:21, "He who despises his neighbor sins, but he who has mercy on the poor, happy is he."

Proverbs 14:31, "He who oppresses the poor reproaches his Maker, but he who honors Him has mercy on the needy."

Proverbs 17:5a, "He who mocks the poor reproaches his Maker;"

Proverbs 21:13, "Whoever shuts his ears to the cry of the poor will also cry himself and not be heard."

Proverbs 22:9, "He who has a generous eye will be blessed, for he gives of his bread to the poor."

As you can see, the Book of Proverbs has a lot to say about this topic of charitable giving.  To ignore these verses, and many more like them throughout the Bible, would be a mistake.  What exactly is our obligation and responsibility to those less fortunate than us?  What is the correct ethical position concerning philanthropy?  I am fully aware that I am addressing an extremely delicate subject.  Many of you might not agree with my assessment, but I cannot ignore it, since the Bible is so clear on the subject.
 
To state it simply, what is our obligation to the poor?

Some of you may say, nothing.  They, the poor, are in that condition because of their own wrong choices; why should we help them.  Others may say, I donate money to my church; I leave it up to them to give to those in need.  Others may think that it is the role of the government to take care of the needy.
 
Let's take the first hypothetical response to our obligation to the poor, which is doing nothing.  How can anyone truly feel that way?  I'm tired of people who like to quote the words of Jesus, take out of context of course, where He said, "the poor you will have with you always," and use that as a justification of not helping those in need.  Look again at any of the verses quoted above.  Is it possible to truly have that position?

The next possible response of some to our obligation to the poor is to say, I donate money to my church, that is enough.  If so, how do you handle these verses?

James 2:15-16, "If a brother or sister is naked and destitute of daily food, and one of you says to them, depart in peace, be warmed and filled, but you do not give them the things which are needed for the body, what does it profit?"

Is just giving money to a religion, a church, a ministry, enough?  Here is another statement I've heard more times than I would care to say, I've read it in books and newspapers and know personally that some people really believe.  It's this view, "it's not the role of government to support the poor; that belongs to the church."  That sounds so pious, so pure.  Do you really believe that?  I decided to crunch a few numbers for those that feel this way.
 
Consider these numbers:

• According to "Giving USA's 2011 Executive Summary", the total amount of Charitable Giving in 2010 was $291 Billion.  Of that total, $101 Billion was donated through religious institutions.  A respectable 35% of all the charitable donations came from religious contributions.
• According to the federal budget for Fiscal Year 2012, the combined amount of public assistance programs including federal, state and local is $679.2 Billion that helps support many of the nation's population of 314.1 million people.

Do the math.  If charitable giving only amounts to $291 Billion including what churches collected, that does not even cover half of the money needed to support the poor in this country.  Plus, when you consider that the $291 Billion is usually already accounted for, so in reality, how much would be available for public assistance of that amount?  I'm convinced; it would be little or none.  As noble as saying, "it's the churches responsibility to support the poor", it does not add up based on current giving levels.

Finally, there are some that feel that government is the answer for the nation's poor.  Do you really think a body of politicians that make up our elected officials, that are primarily concerned with getting themselves re-elected, are capable of properly supporting the needs of the poor?  Adding more layers of bureaucracy is not the solution.  It has only helped compound our nations' problems.  Thirty years ago, the total federal, state and local amount spent on public welfare was $100.5 Billion to serve a population of 227.2 million.  In thirty short years, public assistance programs have skyrocketed with no end in sight.  I think it is clear to see that government alone is not the answer.

What is the answer?  Charitable giving, including giving through religious channels is part of the solution, but as I've already explained, that is not enough.  I believe the government, our tax dollars, provides a safety net for the poor that is necessary too, but support that comes solely from the government can never be enough.
 
What else is needed then?  I believe that an honest reading of the verses in Proverbs, coupled with our on ethical and moral principles, regardless of religious persuasion, shows us that we need to just open our eyes and look around us.  There are plenty of people who need our love, financial help and moral support beyond the reach of established charities and the government.  It may be a family member that needs help.  You have it to give.  Give it freely.  It may be a friend, a neighbor, a co-worker.  You have it to give.  Give it freely, and may I add?  Expect nothing in return.  Philanthropy is the love we have and express toward our fellow man.  Isn't it time we all become more philanthropic in our dealings with those around us less fortunate?

The Unethical Nature of Doing Deceptive Work

Proverbs 11:18:  "The wicked man does deceptive work, but he who sows righteousness will have a sure reward."

In a 2003 article of the American Psychological Association, a study conducted by a Dr. DePaulo concluded that 20 to 33% of the daily interactions of humans are deceptive.  Think about that.  Out of every four interactions with others, it is calculated there is some deception conveyed in at least one of those interactions.  Sobering to say the least, isn't it?  The verse today expands that thought by stating that deceptive people will perform deceptive work.

What is meant by deceptive work in the context of Proverbs 11:18?  It can be described as work that deceives and disappoints the worker.   Looked at another way, it is work that fails to satisfy.  And finally, I think it speaks of work that gives NO lasting profit.

In the blog this week, I want us to consider three sources of deceptive work.

First of all, the root cause and source of deceptive work comes from our inability or choice not to tell the truth consistently.  Putting it bluntly, lying will cause us to do deceptive work.  Being called a liar, or calling someone a liar is pretty serious, yet lying has many faces.  Let's consider three types. There is the "being two-faced" liar.  In the work environment, two-faced deception is usually done in order to seek some kind of personal gain.  Have you ever tried to discredit a co-worker in an attempt to make yourself look better to your superiors?  Maybe your behavior around your boss is totally a "put on" in order to get them to like you, because your motive is for personal gain.  That is being two-faced.  That will cause you to do deceptive work.  Next there is the "Cover-Up" liar.  Their whole work philosophy revolves on making sure they cover their "you know what" in every situation.  Covering yourself when you know you were wrong, whether it is producing shoddy work, blaming someone else for your mistakes or a host of other reasons will cause you to ultimately produce deceptive work.  Then, there is the compulsive liar.  The person that tells so many lies, even more lies are told to cover other lies.  Perhaps this is the person we've always considered to be the "true" liar, but that is not true.  This person is just a little more obvious with their lies, but that is, only if they get caught.  How many liars have lied their entire lives, but have managed to somehow never be caught?  Their lying, even though not found out, produces deceptive work.

Secondly, deceptive work is not only performed by individuals.  Sometimes that deception permeates the culture of a company, so that the deceptiveness of the employees of that company comes from the systemic deception of the corrupt business practices of the company itself.  Such workplace climates are incredibly stressful for honest employees who must learn to survive by expecting that their co-workers and supervisors will deceive them, adopting a deceptive work style in return, and simply grinding through work days without being invested in their work.  How would you, or maybe I should say, how do you cope in that type of work environment?  In a study put out by the "Workplace Bullying Institute" on April 23, 2011, a worker in this kind of company climate was quoted as saying, "It's just the culture.  So it's kind of like a survival of the fittest, but you've got to be a dirty dog to work there.  In my opinion, you can't be honest and survive."  Isn't that last statement sad?  I believe you can be honest and survive, but your survival may mean finding a new place of employment.  Maintaining your integrity should not be negotiable.

So far, we have looked at two sources of workplace deception that are both quite extreme.  The last source of deceptive work may not seem quite obvious.  In fact, it is practiced daily by a large number of honest, well meaning, respected individuals and companies.  I'm referring to the deceptive works that result from "cutting corners".  Unfortunately, most, if not all, of us are guilty of cutting corners from time to time, but that does not make it right.  Cutting corners produces deceptive work, work that gives no lasting profit.

Businesses take risks all the time.  It's just part of running a business.  There's almost no such thing as a business that runs with no risk; but cutting corners is a different story.  Cutting corners is doing things less than your best to achieve some end goal.  It may feel like you're making progress by cutting corners, but at the end of the day you're not.  Current economic challenges have forced a lot of companies to make cost-cutting measures to protect the bottom line.  Cost-cutting and cutting corners are not the same thing, but too often, they become one and the same.  When you cut corners, you cheapen the product or service.
 
Consider the BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico in 2010.  After Hurricane Dennis in 2005, BP's new oil platform, Thunder Horse that was designed to produce 20% of the gulf's oil output was knocked to its side by the hurricane, before it could produce one barrel of oil.  During the cleanup, multiple construction flaws were discovered including shoddy welding and pump valves installed upside down to name a few.  It was quite evident that a number of corners were cut in its construction.  Yet five years later, apparently the lessons of 2005 were not learned when oil begin to pour out of the platform at Deepwater Horizon. (NY Times 7/12/10)

Have you started cutting corners on your job?  You skip a step here, fudge a report there.  It's no big deal, right?  Wrong!  It's deceptive work.  Deceptive work will yield no lasting profit. 

How to Recover from Making Bad Decisions

Last week, we looked at the merits of genuinely asking for advice.  As Proverbs 11:14 stated, "In the multitude of counselors there is safety."  Most have discovered the wisdom of listening to wise counsel, seeking Godly advice, at least most of the time.  What about those times you should have listened, but you didn't?  Now, you are living with the consequences of making and now living with a bad decision.  How do you recover from that?

First of all, let me start by saying everybody at one time or another makes bad decisions.  The post today is not intended to show you how to never make another wrong or bad decision.  That is impossible.  Hopefully, between last week and this week, you will learn how to minimize the amount of bad decisions by seeking the advice of others.  Just remember this; no one will ever get to the point of never making another wrong decision.

Let's first define what we mean by bad decisions.  I'm calling a bad decision as one in which you override your senses and choose an option that you know you should not.  Your senses say NO, because your internal guide or umpire, that some call conscience, is telling you and advising you, not to do it, or your senses are saying NO, because it wants to override the advice or counsel others are giving you.  We should also clarify that sometimes the consequences after making a decision don't always turn out the way we planned.  Sometimes the outcome is unpredictable and unexpected.  Please understand that does not necessarily mean that we had made a bad decision.  Decisions, whether right or wrong, don't have predetermined outcomes.

Any decision carries consequences.  When a person ignores the internal or external warnings and make bad decisions, there will be consequences.  For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, as Newton's Law of Motion stated.  You make a bad decision (action), there will be results and consequences (reaction).  Here are some of the consequences that you may experience or have experienced when you've made bad decisions.

1. Your integrity is compromised.
2. You end up not getting what you actually wanted. 
3. You hurt the ones you love, both family and friends.  Too often it is the ones you love the most that you hurt the most.  Bad decisions can severely damage or even destroy relationships.
4. The emotions go haywire.  You may feel anxiety, stress, depression, apathy and guilt.
5. Physical symptoms may occur like headaches, stomach aches, indigestion, increase in blood pressure and sleeplessness.
6. It can cause you to lose your job.
7. It may cause you to turn to drugs, alcohol or even over or under indulgence with food.
8. It can cause financial ruin. 
9. It wastes precious periods of time, and if left unchecked, can lead to a wasted life.
10. It can even lead to death.

In doing research for today's blog, I came across a website that allows people to tell their stories of what happens when bad decisions are made.  These are actual posts from people who visit this particular site.  Here are two that I read.  I must warn you.  They are extremely depressing.

"At 33, I have nothing.  No house, no girl, no job, no life, no motivation.  I used to be pretty cool and popular, now just a loser.  Pretty much failed at everything I've ever set out to do.  Getting too old to follow my dreams I had as a youth.  Wish me luck, cause I'm done.  Thanks for listening."  My heart broke, as I read this person's words.  I hope he found help, healing, hope and forgiveness.

Here is another one.

"I've made a lot of wrong decisions in my life and no real way of fixing any of them now.  Too late.  I spend time looking, wishing I had a good life.  Like how did they get so lucky.  No job, no money, no love and no real home."

These are so sad, aren't they?  We may not have reached the depths of despair that these 2 people did, but you know you have experienced some of those consequences in the list above.  Yet, we continue to make bad decisions.  Is there no way to prevent them?  Is there no hope?  Is there no answer?

I'm here to say, I believe there is hope.  We are never going to stop occasionally make a bad decision, but here a few simple steps that I hope you find will help you recover when you've made a decision you know was wrong.

1. Acknowledge it.  Admit it.  Face yourself.  You blew it, and you know it.  Ask for forgiveness from God.  If you are too proud to turn to God when you make a mistake, you are making the greatest mistake of all.  Ask for forgiveness from those you may have hurt.  Forgive yourself.   
2. Pick yourself back up and keep moving forward.  Don't stop.  Proverbs 24:16 says, "The godly may trip seven times, and rises again..."  I heard once that a person who wins at life is someone who gets up one more time than they fall down.  You've blown it.  Now get back up, brush yourself off and keep going.
3. Try to be more proactive.  Avoid the pitfalls and situations that you know have led to bad decisions in the past.  Listen to the advice of people you know and trust.  Ask God for wisdom and guidance.

Proverbs 12:15, "The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but he who heeds counsel is wise."

James 1:5, "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him."

I have made some profoundly bad decisions at different times in my life.  I think I experienced 9 out of 10 of those consequences I described above at one time many years ago.  Yet, here I am today, saying that recovery from a bad decision is possible.  How do I know?  It worked for me.  I found forgiveness, I picked myself in spite of some pretty incredible odds and kept moving forward with life and I now try and avoid those things that I know have led to bad decisions in the past.  It has worked for me.  I know it can work for you.

Asking for Advice

Do you seek advice from others?  When it comes time to make one of life's major decisions, do you ask for advice, or are you one that prefers just to make decisions relying on your "gut"?  Can you look back at decisions you've made at different times in your life, where you can now say, 'I wish I had followed the advice I was given?'  Have you ever been asked to give your advice only to discover that once you've given it, the person or persons you gave it too, resented it?  Asking for advice is harder for some people than others.  In today's blog, let's take a closer look at this topic and see how it is addressed in the Book of Proverbs, and how it relates to Business Ethics.

Proverbs 11:14:  "Where there is no counsel, the people fall, but in the multitude of counselors there is safety."

In this passage we discover two primary reasons why we should ask for advice.  It will keep you from falling.  Literally, it can and will keep you from making wrong business and personal decisions.  It goes on to say that there is safety in seeking counsel from multiple sources.  In other words, if you are about to make a life decision that could alter the course of your life or the lives of those in your circle of influence, asking for advice from a number of people will improve the prospects of making the right decision.  For example, if I get a diagnosis from a Doctor, it is expected that you will get a second or even third opinion.  If I need financial advice, I should seek the advice of more than one financial adviser. 

Who should you listen to and get advice from?  There is a danger in getting wrong advice too.  Who can give you the help, advice and the emotional support you need in achieving your goals?  Anyone can give advice, but with the advice given and received, how can we know it is the right advice?  Let's take friends and family.  They are usually the ones that we most often turn to for advice.  As well intentioned as they may be, do they have the particular life experiences that you are seeking advice for?  Their motives and intentions are good, but like all of us, they see the world through their own fears, faults and failures.  They are guided by their own feelings.  They may be sincere with the advice they give, but they may very easily be sincerely wrong.  Following their advice may lead you down a wrong path, and it may be because they are not experienced with the topic you need advice on.  Using the examples in the previous paragraph, if you get a bad diagnosis from your doctor, you are not going to your mechanic for a second opinion, or if you are looking for financial advice, you are not going to turn to a friend or family member that can't pay their bills.
 
Proverbs 12:15:  "The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but he who heeds counsel is wise."

Proverbs 16:9:  "A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps."

Proverbs 20:18:  "Plans are established by counsel."

These verses show us that we should ask for advice because sometimes our way, as right as it seems to us, is wrong.  For some, that may seem harsh but it needs to be said.  We make plans.  We ignore advice.  We think in our gut that our plans are secure.  Then what happens?  Too often, we jump into something based on a unilateral decision that we make on our own, only to find out that it was a mistake.

Proverbs 15:22:  "Without counsel, plans go awry, but in the multitude of counselors they are established."

Proverbs 21:5:  "The plans of the diligent lead surely to plenty, but those of everyone who is hasty, surely to poverty."

Even after you have sought advice, and have made your decision with the help you received from that advice, continuing to ask for counsel is recommended.  Why?  Even good plans, solid plans can easily get off course.  Maybe early on you received some great advice that helped you make a decision initially, but over time, you start thinking that you have the answers, and you change course hastily or in midstream, and then bingo, you veer off course.

Here are 3 things you should ask yourself before seeking advice.

1. Are you looking for advice or validation?  Don't bother asking for advice if all you are looking for is approval.  There are times we have already made up our minds about a decision, and we are just looking for someone that will agree with our decision.  That is not really asking for advice.
2. Are you ready for the truth?  Seeking advice without an open mind is like mining for gold while blindfolded.  Sometimes the truth hurts.  If you are not ready to face the truth, don't bother seeking advice.
3. Are you ignoring advice out of emotion, logic or pride?  Someone gives you advice.  You don't like it.  It irritates you.  You ask yourself why you asked for it.  It's not what you wanted to hear.  You ultimately reject it.

How does this apply to Business Ethics?  Is it not obvious how?  If we would learn to seek advice from trusted, reliable sources with regards to ethical and moral issues, we could save ourselves from a lot of pain and grief from making wrong business and personal decisions.   I will go another step.  For those reading this blog who believe God's Word is the ultimate source for advice, you have the added advantage of not only getting advice based on the human experiences of those who give the advice, but you also have the added security of getting solid spiritual advice found throughout the Bible.

Coming next week:
You should have listened, but you didn't listen to the advice that was offered.  Now, you are faced with the consequences of making and now living with a bad decision.  How do you recover?  I will offer some suggestions in next week's post.

Making a Fair Profit

Proverbs 11:1:  "Dishonest scales are an abomination to the Lord, but a just weight is His delight."

When you buy a pound of coffee, a pound of lunchmeat, a pound of bananas, or whatever, are you really getting a pound?  How about gasoline?  Do you get an exact gallon of gas just because the pump screen says you do?  Thankfully in America, the National Institute of Standards and Technology carefully defines units of measure that are the legal standards for commerce.  Retailers are required to use "honest scales" that are calibrated, checked and certified to be accurate.  Our laws are pretty strict when it comes to weights and measures.  This verse makes it clear that dishonest scales are also an abomination to the Lord.  The Book of Deuteronomy makes it even clearer that the Israelites were not to have differing weights in their bag, a heavy and a light, or differing measures, a large and a small, but they were to have a perfect and just weight and measure."  God puts a pretty high premium on integrity in business practices and looks at dishonest business practices very seriously.  Notice this verse does not pinpoint any particular group.  Dishonest scales are an abomination, whether you are Jewish, Christian or profess to be nothing.  He does not differentiate when it comes to dishonest scales.  God hates deceitfulness and deception of any kind when it comes to how we are transacting business.

You are probably already thinking, 'what does this verse have to do with the topic, making a fair profit?'  It has everything to do with it.  You see, if you alter the weights on a scale, and you give 15.5 ounces for a pound of a product that costs $1.00 a pound, you are increasing the profitability of that product by 3.2%.  If you weigh that same item 32 times and give 15.5 ounces each time for a pound, you will have saved an extra pound thereby increasing your profit. 

What is a fair profit?  Isn't that a subjective question?  What is fair to one person may not be fair to someone else.  I believe the verse is speaking directly to the subject of profits, emphasizing the importance of making a profit fairly.  The fundamental rule of capitalism is, "profit, but fairly," but making a profit "at any cost" is not fair.  When the sole intent of a business is to make money for the stockholders regardless of what it does to a people and its culture, the quality of the product itself, or even the effects on the environment, is that still making a fair profit?  Too often, we want to point at the obscene profits of Big Oil or Apple or Microsoft, but before you pick up stones, if you have a Retirement Fund or 401K, aren't we primarily only interested in growing that nest egg, and don't those investments grow as a direct result of the growth in that particular companies' profits?  Is ignorance bliss with regards to this?  We don't know if the profits made on our mutual funds were fairly made or were they profits made at any cost.  Thought provoking to say the least, but I don't think this blog will settle this emotionally volatile issue.  The differentiation between earning profits fairly and earning profits at any costs is starting to work its way into the curricula of business schools.  "Business schools are moving beyond business as usual. Across the country, MBA programs have responded to growing criticism that graduates are fixated foremost on shareholder profits. Amid the unending financial scandal and the worst downturn in decades, the curriculum has shifted toward sustainability, long-term profitability, and integration of specialties. The question is how deep the changes will go." (Bloomberg Business Week, 11/10/11, "Business Schools' New Mantra:  Ethics and Profits")

I think the broader topic in our text this week is whether one is honest or dishonest in business, period.  Don't you think that God's opinion would be the same?  Absolutely!  Let's consider some examples of dishonest scales in today's business world.

If you are in sales, (I'm sorry salesperson.  Why do we always have to start with you?) would deceptive sales techniques, overpromising on a product or a service and other forms of stretching the truth, not be the same as dishonest scales?  I bought a vehicle a little over a year ago.  I went ahead and purchased the "lifetime limited warranty" too.  While I was in the decision making portion of the transaction, all I was hearing from my salesperson and even the owner of the dealership was the virtues of this extended warranty.  I knew, and they even explained to me that maintaining the service on the vehicle was key.  Once I made the purchase, the doublespeak started.  Three different people at the dealership, the owner, my salesperson and the service manager, told me something differently, as to when the oil should be changed to maintain the warranty.  What's worse, the emails direct from the manufacturer and the owner's manual said something different too.  What happened here?  If you don't keep up the maintenance, the warranty is voided.  Getting 3, 4 and 5 different answers to the same question, do you think they were trying to confuse when the maintenance work should be performed?  Sounds like a dishonest scale to me. 

I believe a salesperson can be honest and maintain his integrity.  You don't have to compromise to be in sales and marketing.  I love being a marketer, and I want to be known as the ethical marketer.  Gaining the trust of your customer is huge.  Remaining honest regardless of the consequences will only solidify that trust.  Be deceptive once, and that trust can be lost in an instant. 

Here is another one.  Have you noticed the theme of car insurance commercials lately?  "Just fifteen minutes, can save you 15% or more..."  You've heard them.  Each one is promising to save more than the other competitor will save you.  Here is something you can try.  If you switch from Company A to Company B, you can save, let's say $300, but if you switch from B to Company C, they will save you $300 more than B, and if you switch to D, they will save you $300 more.  Get the point.  Do you think if you keep switching, that ultimately the price will get down to $0?  Of course not. 

Now I know not everyone is in sales, but everyone is a buyer of goods and services.  Negotiating price is okay, and has its place, but if you pay less than the honest value of an item, do you feel that you got away with something?  How about when you thought you paid for an item, and you find out that the clerk forgot to charge you for it?  How does that make you feel?  It's there loss, you say.  Isn't that an example of dishonest scales?

I have one more, and I'm done.  This one happened to me over 30 plus years ago, and it still bothers me when I think about it today.  I had a young family then, and I wasn't making a whole lot of money.  I remember going to the bank to cash my payroll check.  I pulled up to the drive up window.  When the bank teller gave me my cash, I took the envelope and left.  When I opened the envelope, I realized she had given me $20 more than she should have.  What did I do?  What should I have done?  I must confess.  I kept it, and thought no more about it, or at least I tried to convince myself of that.  Wasn't my action an example of a dishonest scale?  Since then, I've found out that when a teller is short or over on cash that there is a massive effort by several bank employees to find out if a transaction was missed or something was miscounted.  Even worse, if the particular teller I had that day had made other transaction errors, she could have been on probation already, and my gain of an extra $20 could have resulted in the loss of her job.  I never knew what happened to her.  If memory serves me correctly, I think I started using a different branch.  Do you think guilt might have driven me to another branch?

The Lord delights in just weights as the verse says.  He is looking for us to be honest in all of our business dealings, so that making a fair profit is honorable.

Practicing Verbal Restraint

Have you ever been in a conversation when you know you've said too much?  How did you reach that conclusion?  Rarely will someone just tell you to zip your lip, be quiet or shut up.  Maybe you reached that conclusion based on some non-verbal cues you saw from your listeners indicating that maybe you've talked too much.  You noticed their fidgeting, or the glazed over look in their eyes, or you've seen them scratching or rubbing the back of their neck, or you've seen them looking away, or noticed they frequently interrupted you, or maybe their "uh-huh" answers were an indication to you that they were just trying to speed up the conversation, so you could get to the point and shut up.

I'm sure most of us have been guilty at one time or another knowing we've talked or said too much.  A familiar quote attributed to Abraham Lincoln says, "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt."  The problem with saying too much is that it increases the likelihood of saying something hurtful, critical, slanderous or destructive about someone else.  Words are powerful.  The childhood saying, "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me," is so far from the truth.  Words can and do hurt.  Words can divide families, friends and fellow workers.  Words can destroy relationships.  Words can destroy your integrity.  

As I worked my way through the Book of Proverbs and developed the list of upcoming blog topics that I would like to share over the coming weeks, I was amazed at how much this Book had to say about this particular subject.  There were far more verses dealing with this subject than any other subject.  Do you think it might be something that we take a closer look at?

Consider the following verses.

Proverbs 10:14, "Wise people store up knowledge, but the mouth of the foolish is near destruction."

Proverbs 10:18-19, "Whoever hides hatred has lying lips, and whoever spreads slander is a fool.  In the multitude of words sin is not lacking, but he who restrains his lips is wise."

Proverbs 13:3, "He who guards his mouth preserves his life, but he who opens wide his lips shall have destruction."

Proverbs 17:27-28, "He who has knowledge spares his words, and a man of understanding is of a calm spirit.  Even a fool is counted wise when he holds his peace; when he shuts his lips, he is considered perceptive."

Proverbs 20:3, "It is honorable for a man to stop striving, since any fool can start a quarrel."

Proverbs 21:23, "Whoever guards his mouth and tongue keeps his soul from troubles."

I could have given several more.  I think these convey the point extremely well.  Those who consider themselves ethical in business and in life must learn how to practice verbal restraint.  Do you think that is a fair assumption? 

The verses above contrast the wise person from the foolish person with regards to practicing verbal restraint.  The wise person stores up knowledge, restrains his lips, guards his mouth, spares his words, stops striving and guards his tongue.  What is the result?  He "keeps his soul from troubles."  The mouth of a foolish person is described as near destruction, hides hatred, spreads slander, can't keep his mouth shut, talks too much and starts quarrels. 

Is it easy to practice verbal restraint?  Absolutely not!  Why then is it so hard?  Why do our words often cause so much harm and hurt, especially with the people we love the most? To better understand this dilemma, consider these thoughts from the New Testament Book of James.  The writer of James describes the tongue as something that no man can tame, that it is an unruly evil, that it is full of deadly poison.  Ouch!  That's not a very glamorous picture is it?  He compares the tongue to the rudder on a vast ship.  The ship however large it might be can be turned by the movements/actions of its very small rudder, just like the tongue can control us.  He goes on to say that with our tongues, we bless God and curse men, often at the same time.  He even says a person's outward demonstration of their religion is worthless if they cannot control their tongues.  Does this leave us without hope?  Again I say, absolutely not!

The pilot of a ship is the one that controls the rudder.  "No man" can tame the tongue, but God can.  When we allow Him to pilot our ship, He can help us control our tongues.  He is the One that can teach us how to practice verbal restraint. 

I realize not everyone reading this blog believes in having a personal relationship with God.  Some may even doubt the existence of God.  I respect your beliefs or lack thereof, but today's topic about the destructive tendencies of one of our smallest body parts, the tongue, when the mind has it flapping out of control and saying too much, I cannot but acknowledge the reality that something so powerfully destructive needs something even more powerful to control it.  That's why I could not leave this topic without expressing my personal conviction that controlling the tongue requires Divine help.